My Post Partum depression

To all new dads

A study conducted in the University of Virginia and later published in the ‘’Journal of American medical association’ claims that nearly 20 percentage of depressive disorders among men are post- partum. Technically, psychiatrists called this as Post natal depression (PND) and it shows an increasing trend among men.

Nowadays our traditional notion of parenthood is undergoing a massive transformation and simultaneously social expectations from ‘new dads’ have also changed. Breakage of the traditional gender roles with both husband and wife working and sharing the house hold chores have also , created a piquant situation where now men can’t think traditionally. The distancing of the joint family system and non-acceptance of husband’s mother as a support base by his wife -who is an   empowered working women-   have also added to this. Today the ‘new dad’ faces  a situation that he has not experienced  before and slowly  dips into depression,  nappy in hand..

I remember way back in 2001, few months after being blessed with a daughter, I was not able to respond to the pleasantries and best wishes of friends. I found that I have jumped into some form of melancholy. I was somewhere in a future world. It was not changing the nappy that worried me, but being far away from home and not being able to change my child's nappy was my cause of worry. With an inexplicable sense of responsibility and looking into some wary future, I quit my Job and came home.

My PND cost me my job.

Today  I keep my head high as a successful dad and  that cradled baby who gave me blues, has now turned up as my best friend . As I looked  back into that epoch of uncertainty,I thought of writing  to all young fathers, and make them realize this malady and take professional help as and when needed.

As I tell my daughter, that there was a period of PND , in my life as well, she giggles and says “Dad it’s time now for the mid-life crisis ….and get ready for the  next bout of blues

Sanyasi

Book Review: The Road Less Travelled

Hi,

Prof Scot peck was an American professor and psychiatrist who died in 2005 and I just finished reading his most famous book  ‘The road less traveled' which  deals with an in depth analysis of the most astonishing element of human life which is LOVE . Well before that , let me bring in few of the key concepts that he explains .

In the first chapter he describes the culture of discipline which an individual needs to bring up in his/her life as a personal quality. For this we need to  master  four skills. Firstly the skill of delaying gratification. This is an attitude of scheduling our pain and pleasure, such that you accept the pain first to know the value of pleasure. Isn't it true?  Haven't we experienced pleasure in the backdrop of pain. For example when we have the pleasure of a good family or a good relationship, we are unaware of the pain that we will have if  we don’t have it.  So on the  reverse ,  first we should  undergo a process of pain , of not being in a good relationship and then understand its  value   . Prof Scott says that if you have an attitude of delaying your gratification or if life gives you pain in the beginning, you enjoy the pleasure later by knowing its value. 

The second skill is in developing an attitude of owing up or what he calls as taking responsibility. We have all blamed somebody else or the  circumstance for our  painful situation. Have we taken responsibility to the circumstance which gave us pain  .  We need to build up an attitude where we first blame our self  for a painful event, and not blame another individual for its cause. 

The third skill is on our ability for dedication to reality.  Our view of reality is like a map to negotiate the terrain of life. If we set our reality perfectly, then we reach the destination. This is nothing but   self-acceptance and clarity on what we really are , beyond those masks that you wear in your work place or even at your home. In a society filled with a show off culture,  this is an important skill,  to be learned. 

The fourth skill is balancing which is our ability to look at our ups and downs with composure. No elation of your emotions when you are in pleasure and no depression during pain. ( This quality echoes verse 38 in chapter 2 of the Bhagwat Gita, which reads  sukhaduhkhe same krtva labhalabhao jayaajaya;  ( look at pain and pleasure with equanimity) and in verse 15 ,where it says  sama dukha sukhaam deeram  ( the brave looks at pleasure and pain equally)).

Prof Scott concludes his chapter on discipline by asking us to  develop these four skills and  face any challenge in life. His second section is on love where he critically analyses the feeling of  love, contrary  to the way we have considered it to be . For Prof Scott LOVE IS ANY THOUGHT,GESTURE OR DEED which will result in progress in  the life of the person whom we love . When I say I love my child, I mean I am in a continues process of thinking and doing for the child’s material and spiritual progress. The same applies when you say that I love my friend or my nation.

He says that love is not just a feeling but commitment and the exercise of wisdom in a relationship. To quote from the book ‘’ genuine love is a self-replenishing activity as it enlarges the self rather than diminishing it and is  a process of judicious  giving and judicious  taking ’’  Note the word judicious which means making judgement  with wisdom. This tempts me to quote  Swamy Chinmayananda who’s central theme of talk in his Gita discourses were  on ‘’ developing the faculty of intellect without being misled by emotions and feelings ‘’ -a hard fact indeed-. Exercising  this intellect is what Prof Scott means by being judicious.

Having said what love is, he goes on to define what love is not. He says falling in love is just a misnomer and this experience is nothing but a sex-linked erotic experience where there is  breaking up of our ego boundaries which is nothing but a naturally induced brain effect and not love. So he questions the whole western phraseology of making love and goes on to say that this experience does not last long but results in rebuilding of the ego boundaries eventually making you falling out of love. Here  he breaks the myth of romantic love. 

Prof Scott has also touched upon the fact that love is also not dependency. To quote him ‘’ Two people love each other when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other’’, He says passive dependency in a loving relationship is a disorder and is the cause of many Psycho somatic disorders.

Through this book Peter Scott have made an in depth analysis on the practicality of Love, relationships and personalities and it is indeed one of the best books that I had read recently. Needless to say the book is still a ten million copy bestseller.

Sanyasi 

Book Review: The Quest for Identity in 21st century:

hello

The book I just finished reading was Susan Greenfield's pioneering book named ‘’ The Quest for identity in the 21^st Century.’ One among the  key points that she addresses is on the pervasive nature of the new age technologies, and the impact of the two dimensional world of cyberspace on human lives. The sensory experience from the cyber world is affecting the neural networks of our brain functioning,  changing the way we think and behave . The development of a culture of instant gratification among the new generation is one such attribute of this change.

The subsequent chapters are on the functioning of the brain and the analogy of the brain’s synaptic functioning to human relationship and societies. She argues that mind is a construct of the brain and is an identity created by it from the interplay of various electro chemical agents called neurotransmitters. She explains on the neural networking which gives us the sensation of love, hatred and other emotions, and the way modern day drugs play a pivotal role in modulating these networks, in particularly on serotonin and dopa mine, the vital neurotransmitters which control our feelings and well being. 

Another area of discourse is on the emerging threat of neuro degenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson disease. While explaining the chemistry and pharmacology of these diseases the author is vary of the consequence of these diseases on human life and the need to develop technologies which can arrest such neuro-degeneration .

In addition she touches upon the concept of plasticity of the brain which is called long term potentiation (LTP) , where synapses reacts to the repetitive environment , beliefs and practices and mutes  its neural networks accordingly . It helps us heal from prayers, change our mind set and manage pain. The music that you hear, relationship which you nurture and the way you think and live is managed by a series of neural activation.

 She also touches upon creativity and brain chemistry, citing the example of VanGog the insane painter who cut his own ears. People with psychic disorders like Schizophrenia which is induced by excessive dopamine in certain regions of the brain and that of major depression which is caused by serotonin deficiency,  shows a higher level of  creative thinking . In fact most of the creative thinkers and scientists have had episodes of depressive disorders.

This pioneering book  brings into focus the need for mankind to prepare for a change induced by the interplay of the brain and the environment, and set the tone  for the new ‘evolution’ of the human race.

Sanyasi

World cup football -Where is India?

Dear friends

As Argentina plays  Germany in this world cup, it is a fight between the individual centrist Latin America and the team run European football.Germany, Argentina, Brazil, Spain and Italy have proved to be the greatest football nations based on the previous  world cups.  Latin American food ball, like the Indian cricket during the Sachin era was always centered on one individual. Whether it was Pele or Maradona of the yesteryear or the Messi of today, the victory for the Latin American  teams were  always because of an individual. The loss of Neymar making  Brazil getting into a corner with a fourth place is a testimony to this fact. On the other hand European football was always based on team effort but not necessarily based on a name. Today’s match for Argentina is centered on Messi while for Germany it is game as usual. A few hour from now we will know who are the world champions again an individual or a team.

While Europe and Latin America leads in this game, Asian countries are never near the post. With occasional appearance of Iran or South Korea the Asian land mass with the greatest population is always away from World cup not to mention of India. Indian football has always made itself present in the Olympics during the 50s.  However, we still remain a non-entity among the comity of nations in the world football arena. Even since the times of Chuni Goswami to the present day sensation Sunil Chhetri we have had many names like Baichung bhutia, Bhaskar ganguli, I M Vijayan to name a few , adding glory to the game in India since independence. The Santosh trophy football match and the glory of the Bengal Clubs -East Bengal, Mohammedan sporting, and Mohanbagan- have all  been lost. As we watch today’s world cup it is a shame that an emerging economy like India is nowhere among the comity of footballing nations. It is not health or wealth which makes a footballing nation but dedication and support to the game. Our over emphasis on cricket and by making it a national madness, we have ensured that the greatest game among humankind is nearly dead in India. In the eve of this world cup football final, we need to think that it is high time that we revive this game. But the question is even if the government take policy initiatives will the commercial interests around cricket give it a chance?

Sanyasi

Socio-Economic Terrorism: NGO menace in India:

Dear friends

The classified intelligence bureau report alleging that certain NGOs (non-governmental organizations) working in India are funded by foreign agencies with nefarious interest,  is a matter of great concern. It was a well-known fact that these NGOs fought government agencies in the name of human rights and environment. It is alleged that they   are actively involved in agitating against projects which positively impact our economic growth whether it is the Vedanta aluminium project or the Kudamgulam nuclear power project. The hard-line environment watch dog Greenpeace is named in the report as one of such organizations working against national interest. It is also alleged that one Dr Udaykumar who spearheaded the Kudamgulam nuclear power agitation was paid a significant amount of money in dollars for his research work in India. A German national and associate of Dr Udaykumar -who was later expelled from the country- was found to have maps of Indian nuclear installations. Well it is yet to be seen on how the Government of India acts to this report.

It has been alleged since long, that a large amount of money flows to India in the name of social service, research work and educational initiatives which are estimated to be more than Rs 10000 Crore per year . The recipients of these funds are organisations formed under various pretext. Either it will be a  local NGO spearheaded by some leftist intellectual  or  India versions of some  fat global NGOs like Greenpeace . Money also flows to religious organizations in the name of social service.  

Now the question is where is the accountability of these funds? What checks and balances that our economic agencies have in monitoring these money flows and its utilization? This is the age of economic terrorism where such fund flows need to be carefully monitored. The nationalistic spirit as seen in the agitations of Bahuguna or medha patkar is significantly absent in the agitations of those so called foreign funded NGOs.

As somebody has said, there are no free meals. If somebody is funding you, it is not for charity, but for business. It is high time the Government of India understands this business model and responds accordingly.

Sanyasi

Modiji, Mane Hindi Avadto Nadi (I don't know Hindi)

Dear all,

An issue which is now being widely debated in the media is about our Prime minister speaking in Hindi with  foreign dignitaries. Shockingly, some channels have reported that some babus have even started typing letters in Hindi.  Now the question is if Mr Modi wanted to speak in Hindi because he is conversant in that language, then it is fine. However, if he is trying to speak in Hindi to prove a point on national identity, it would be wise for him to speak in his mother tongue Gujarati rather than Hindi. This is because one of the major areas of concern and fear about him is the suspicion of his majoritarian-ism be it religious or linguistic. It need to be understood that he has won the hearts of millions in this country not because of his Hindi oratory skills which is exceptionally good, but because of his clarion call for development and good governance upheld and accepted by a large no of Non Hindi speakers of this country.

While an argument  put forward by even his opponents like Sashi Taroor and Deva Gowda , is that the French, Chinese and Japanese head of states speak in their language while engaging in bilateral talk to prove a point on their national identity. This argument does not hold true to India which is essentially a multilingual state with at least 22 matured languages, unlike France or Germany which are single language states. Further Modi represents modernity and youth, where usage of Hindi makes him look parochial. Hence excessive usage of Hindi by Modiji will convey and reinforce his majoritarian mind set which will only strength his detractors. It will also blocks the BJPs inroads into non Hindi speaking places particularly South and north east of India.

Hence it needs to be remembered that sometimes selling a point will result in losing many.

Modiji, mane hindi avadto nadi - ( Modiji I dont know Hindi written in Gujarati)

Trafficking of Children In Kerala: A case of national Importance:

In Nigeria, an organisation called Boko Harem , abducted more than 350  girls , protesting on giving education to those girls who are still under captivity. Here in India, children are abducted for education. Seems strange, but is a fact. Organizations in Kerala under the name of Yatim Khana (orphanage) trafficked more than 200 children from Jharkhand state. They were apprehended in a railway station by police, without any documents and tickets. Telephonic inquiries made to their parents revealed  that the children were lured from them promising education and money  and that too under duress. The police chief who handles the case categorically said that the Juvenile Justice Act has been blatantly violated. The Kerala Home minister whose UDF government strives on the citadels made by the Muslim League cautiously commented that the children could have been taught in their home state and laws have been violated.

Yatim Khanas are traditional Muslim orphanages in Kerala where underprivileged children are given religious teaching. Of late there has been allegations that these children might be radicalized or may have been converted from other religious. While it is too early to conclude to a fact, it need to be seen that whether  religious freedom have been  mis-utilized or if there is any internal security issue . 

With nearly 20  MLAs in the state legislative assembly the Muslim League which controls the UDF government does not give any hope .In fact all muslim organizations including the state minority commission was united against the police for alleging  this  as a case of human trafficking . 

With a flawed notion of one sided secularism as practiced in Kerala, where in minority organizations controls the rank and file  with a skewed social balance between  a majoritarian minority on one side, and left veined minoritarian  majority on the other side, nothing more can be expected from the intelligentsia and middle classes either. Maximum that could be seen will be a left leaning discussion or article on the topic from popular dailies. The home minister will duck and the investigating officer transferred and all is well in secular Kerala.

In the above context, it is imperative that the home ministry take cognizance of this human trafficking, where children were illegally taken and packed in train like cattle and take corrective steps. The national media which are Delhi/North India centric too hope to open its eyes. 

If not we will have a troubled K State in the southern tip as like we  now have one on the northern tip. 

Sanyasi